NOBODY Won the First Presidential Debate

October 4th, 2012

Tonight Romney and Obama went toe-to-toe at the University of Denver and I gotta tell you… NOBODY won. With the first presidential debate behind us it’s time for the uninformed electorate to rub the sleep out of their eyes and spend the next four weeks determining which manicured ivory-tower psycho best represents their vision of America. These somnambulant masses have never heard or Ron Paul. They’ve certainly never heard of Gary Johnson or Jill Stein. In fact, this may be the first time they’ve heard of Mitt Romney. But they are the independent swing voters who are going to decide which “Central Economic Plan” will run your life for the next four years. So, brace yourself. For the next month or so it’s going to get really stupid.

As we speak the beltway babbling class it trying to find some wart or blemish by which to distinguish these candidates and declare one or the other the winner. Who smiled more? Who seemed more professional? Who had the warmest temperament? What about the zingers Romney supposedly spent a week memorizing? The only reason they pretend that some kind of aggressive verbal sparring match is going on is because they’re narcissists desperately hoping the American people are still paying attention to them. Well I’m calling it. NOBODY won the Denver presidential debate. And I don’t mean that neither the pick-pocket socialist or wall street robot managed to out verbally joust the other. I mean that given this choice, the office of the president would be best left empty. I would rather vote for Clint Eastwood’s empty chair.

Economics was the main topic of the night. They talked about taxes, deficits, healthcare and job creation. Obama praised “free enterprise” and Romney praised “free markets” but neither of them seemed to have a problem with being asked about their “central economic plan.” Explain to me how a president with a “central economic plan” is different from a “centrally planned economy.” They’re both operating under the illusion that presidents create jobs. They’re both operating under the illusion that the best tax regime is the one that acquires the most revenue. And their both operating under the illusion that we need them to run our lives.

The voluntary sector raises revenue by providing something of value. When the violent sector needs money they steal. Romney in his radio nasal-spray-commercial voice idiotically quipped, “You can’t have a free market work without regulation.” I expect socialist claptrap from Obama, but if you think Romney is a free market capitalist you’re kidding yourself. They’re all Keynesians now. NOBODY seems to understand the first thing about economics.

If you go over to you’ve find the Vote for NOBODY Campaign. It’s tongue-in-cheek, but the message is clear. We don’t need “strong leadership” in government. We don’t need a warfare-welfare state. We don’t need a central economic planner. We don’t need them. So NOBODY has my vote.

The two authoritarian sociopaths will debate twice more this month, and a handful more times after that. But I seriously doubt anything new will be said. NOBODY will talk about the Federal Reserve. NOBODY will end the wars. NOBODY will set you free. In short… NOBODY represents you. So Vote for NOBODY.

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About the Author: Davi Barker

In grade school Davi refused to recite the pledge of allegiance because he didn't understand what it meant. He was ordered to do as he was told. In college he spent hours scouring through the congressional record trying to understand this strange machine. That's where he discovered Dr. Ron Paul. In 2007 he joined the End The Fed movement and found a political home with the libertarians. The Declaration of Independence claims that the government derives its power “from the consent of the governed." He does not consent.