Cops in bunny suits can strip search after traffic stops
April 8th, 2012No Easter is complete without one of our fearless revenue generation officers going undercover in a giant bunny costume to ticket drivers for minor traffic violations. But what happens when you give the furry menace the power to strip search the public after traffic stops? Suddenly the bunny suit takes on a whole new creepy molester vibe, doesn’t it? But that’s just what the Supreme Court has decided.
Cops in West Palm Beach, Florida are doing just that, and carrying a neon pink sign that reads, “Have a safe, hoppy holiday. Buckle up!” I wonder if “hoppy holiday” is the politically correct way of saying “Easter” the way “happy holidays” is the politically correct way of saying “Merry Christmas.” But regardless of that, the bunny was doing more than offering a helpful reminder to ensure public safety. Dubbed “Operation Hippity Hop,” he was making note of every driver who didn’t have a seat belt on so that his buddies down the road could bust them as part of the state’s “Click it or ticket!” campaign. In just two hours over 50 drivers were cited. Real public servants.
Of course this isn’t the only bunny story of it’s kind. In a similar operation in Glendale, California cops used a bunny costume to patrol crosswalks and ticket drivers who didn’t yield to the fluffy menace. In another case, this time in Nanaimo Canada, a cop in a bunny suit at a major intersection busted drivers for traffic violations. This time 60 divers were cited, mostly for cell phone use. But it’s not always a bunny suit. Sometimes the cops pose as panhandlers to catch drivers off guard.
In past years these goofy costume antics may have just seemed annoying. I think every rational being acknowledges that seatbelt laws and cell phone laws are really just for revenue generation, even if wearing a seatbelt and using a hands free device is a good idea. But now it seems the Supreme Court has ruled that routine strip searches are reasonable after traffic stops, giving them a more perverse incentive. They aren’t authorizing road-side strip searches yet. The cops have to actually book a person. But they can follow minor traffic violations, Albert Florence learned.
The Supreme Court ruled against Albert, who was subjected to what he called “a pair of intrusive, humiliating strip searches” after being accused of failing to pay a minor traffic fine. Basically, the cops ran his ID and discovered he had an outstanding fine, and brought him in. Of course, he had paid the fine and carried a letter from the court confirming it because he had been stopped several times before because of some ongoing computer error. The court called it “striking a reasonable balance” between privacy protections and the needs of the correctional system. Of course by “balance” privacy protections they mean “abrogate” privacy protections. Albert told CNN “I was just told, ‘Do as you’re told.’ Wash in this disgusting soap and obey the directions of the officer who was instructing me to turn around, lift my genitals up, turn around, and squat.” Here’s the court’s ruling.
What’s outrageous about this is that protecting the innocent, like Albert Florence, is precisely why the 4th Amendment promise that the People are “secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects” is so important. There was no conviction here. No trial. No Jury. They have basically decided that they can pick up an innocent person off the street, bring them into the jail and strip search them without any due process or warrant… for minor traffic violations. They’ve already taken away any sense of security we had in our “houses, papers and effects.” They can search our cars and our homes, demand our papers, track our movement, tap our phones and monitor our internet traffic, all in the name of “balancing” the needs of the State. But now it seems we’re not even secure in our body.
So, next time you see a bunny on the side of the road, keep in mind that he might be scouting for more than easy sheep to fleece. He might be scouting for the drivers he’d like to see naked, and who knows, maybe a cavity search. And if you’re talking on your cell phone, or not wearing a seatbelt, or rolling through a stop sign, or one of a dozen other excuses they have to pull us over, the bunny might just get his way. Looks like we should change the slogan on their cruisers to “To unnerve and molest.” Happy Easter.
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